...

Get well Megan and Kat!

Sun, 29 Feb 2004 00:45:59 GMT

I've been real sick for a while
So I bought myself some gummy bears
Hoping it would cheer me up
I told the yellow one I needed a hug
But he wasn't listening
So I bit his head off
He tasted like blood
And I wondered why he wasn't red
The red one watched and ran away
So I couldn't compare their flavors
They probably would have tasted the same
The poisonous blue one tried to trick me
So I put him back
And threw away the bag

Mia

Wed, 09 Jul 2003 06:48:02 GMT

Back and forth, in and out, it's just like sex
The pain, the pleasure, the high you expect
Going through the motions; body well trained
The concept too difficult to explain
Keep moving, not a moment to relax
Back and forth, in and out, it's just like sex

Corrupted by vanity and desire
Only one simple goal maintains this fire
Fingers in places they shouldn't explore
Knowing you are better now than before
The body jars, shakes, shudders and contracts
Back and forth, in and out, it's just like sex

Sat, 05 Jul 2003 17:58:44 GMT

I'm sick of hospitals. I'm sick of doctor visits. I'm sick of waiting rooms and the crap music they play and how they never have magazines worth reading. I'm sick of foods I don't like eating. I'm sick of power aide and juices crowding the fridge. I'm sick of picking up prescriptions on a daily basis. I'm sick of daily migraines.
I'm sick.
I'm tired of not being able to fall asleep until 2 when I go to sleep at 11. I'm tired of forgetting everything. I'm tired of being clumsy. I'm tired of dropping everything. I'm tired of being so stressed I can't think straight. I'm tired of lousy friends who decide they don't like me. I'm tired of people who talk behind my back. I'm tired of the feeling that I can't handle everything and it's making me go crazy.
I'm tired.
I'm sick and tired of the fact that this is my life.
I'm sick and tired of being alive.

I need to stop writing this depressed drivel

Mon, 30 Jun 2003 18:27:05 GMT

The way you talk you'd think I'm still living
I'm dead to you, you should know this by now
I need to tell you I'm not forgiving
You got that idea somewhere, somehow
The pain was back then, and this is right now
Because of all the burns you've been giving
I'm more frozen than anyone alive
Could even hope to possibly survive

Tue, 24 Jun 2003 19:06:48 GMT

It wasn't a relationship really
It was more of a love affair
Between your car, your cologne, and me

Sat, 14 Jun 2003 06:53:23 GMT

You push me down to make an impression
The harder the pressure the more shows up
Stretch me out in every direction
You can pull until I snap with some luck
Teach me, I will listen if you instruct
Perfection is what you desire to see
My attitude quiet and yours abrupt
It's a game, I am your silly putty

Through torture you've taught me not to disrupt
Fold and mold me, shape and rape and break me
You will not let anyone interrupt
It's a game, I am your silly putty

Die trying (They won't stop playing that on The End)

Fri, 13 Jun 2003 07:03:31 GMT

She sits quiet.
In quiet desperation. In quiet self destruction.
She won't waste words if they'll fall on deaf ears.
She remembers a time when she tried, resisted really, and knows that time is not now.
She will lay on her bed knowing the tears won't come.
Knowing she has used up her supply worth the next five years.
She remembers her armor, and how she must of left it out in the rain, what with the way it rusted and such.
She sees the carrot being held over her head, but she's not as stupid anymore, and realizes now there's no point in trying to reach it.
She won't keep chasing that illusion, reaching out for something unattainable.
The game is over. You lose.

Sun, 18 May 2003 19:12:58 GMT

Your name has turned
From black to red, normal to bold
And I know
My window of opportunity has closed
*** Santacorrupted signed off at Tues May 13 00:25:21 2003

Caring too much

Thu, 03 Apr 2003 20:46:14 GMT

Is there such thing
As caring too much?
Part of me is falling so fast and so far
It's going to hurt when it hits
The glass ceiling or the ground, only time will tell
Awkward.
No, not awkward
Self conscious.
Oblivious to the adoration in my eyes
Such a bummer that you're not my type
I've traded in skater sneakers
For shiny black shoes
Loose sweatshirts for ugly sweaters
Band shirts for dress shirts
Gelled spikes for loose and fluffy hat hair
Still my heart stopped the time I saw you gliding toward me
And adrenaline flows when you walk into the room
Knowing I care too much
To make up for you not caring at all
Half of me wants to walk away.
No, not walk
Run.
I can't figure out what makes me stay
It's not the music you like, how you dress, what you believe
There's something about you though
I wish I could see
I wish I could know
I'm tired of being played
By a boy I shouldn't even like
It's such a bummer that you're not my type

Attempt at a Short Rondel

Tue, 01 Apr 2003 07:27:28 GMT

Her perfect box, this cage of hers which gives nothing away
Silver stainless steel, unchanged by tears and not rusted by rain
Welded walls no key could unlock, a geometric work of art
A cell, a cage, a means to guard her heart
She sits, she stays, inside this place called home
Her perfect box.

Sleep comes to comfort her, she's safe during the night
If morning arrives she does not know, the walls admit no light
Trapped in her soundproof temple, the outside world moves on
She knows it will be girl or cage, and she knows it won't be long
This can't last forever, she won't always be alone
In her perfect box.

Hmm...

Sun, 23 Mar 2003 01:43:21 GMT

You were a less censored, innocent, sheltered me
And I was intrigued
By the sight of you the day we met
Two bottles of vodka
One heartbreak
And a stolen pack later
We're stumbling through neighborhood streets
While soccer moms scowl helplessy as they drive past
Wishing they didn't have such tight lives
Wishing they could relax
We refuse to hide in the dark of the night
Instead fully exposed by the afternoon light
You lay down in some stranger's lawn
Rain water works to stain your stone washed bootcut brandname jeans
And you pull me down
You pull me down to let me see
I know God created Adam and Eve
And didn't create Adam and Steve
But my name is Nicole and your name is Jenn
So I'm not sure how we fit in
You pull me down
To prove
That kissing a smoker is nothing like
Licking an ashtray
You pull me down
You pull down me
To make my life less tight
To set me free

When are you going to stop playing these games?

Fri, 07 Mar 2003 02:51:46 GMT

I shield my eyes
I don't want to see
Don't tell me
I don't want to know
Peekaboo
Now I can't avert my eyes
Exposed
Once innocence is lost
It can never be found
I close my eyes
And count to ten
You're hiding from me
But I'll find you
You are not innocence
And I never wanted to know
I'm lost too
I have to find myself
Before I can be found by you
My eyes are closed
I shout Marco
But I can't hear you say Polo
Over the sound of my own panicky breathing
I'm no longer shielding my eyes
But I still can't see
You covered them to test my trust
I pin the tail on myself
And wave the bat around
As candy comes pouring down
I ignore the sweetness
I just wish that I could feel you
If you would take my hand maybe I wouldn't need to see
Somewhere nearby you kick over the can
You've won the game
And my blindfold's been removed
But I'm still as blind as ever

Retro

Tue, 25 Feb 2003 07:41:50 GMT

A white apron thrown over my little red dress
As I tend to violets and vegetables
Watering away wanton wishes with will for what I have
An apartment
And garden plot
To call my own
Lured to loves lullabies
Lounging in lingerie
On a rug by the fire
While my tiny tike and toddler
Indulge in delicious dreams of daytime down the hall
Retro in a metropolitan area
Stereotypical housewife
How was your day hon?
Peck on the cheek
Life is swell

lnspired by:

For Riley (#2)

Wed, 19 Feb 2003 08:26:36 GMT

Don't give me that smile
Stop dreaming
When are you going to wake me from this nightmare
Not angry anymore
I don't think I've known you to ever not be angry
Turn on your monitor
And read these words
I don't love you
I never did
And I never will
The way you want me to
Your lies are mere needles
Your honesty sharp knives
Now I'm laying down my cards
I have a royal flush
So stop dreaming
Can you hear what I'm saying?
I wait
I'm waiting
For you to return

Dick and Jane

Sat, 15 Feb 2003 08:31:24 GMT

See Jane
See Jane lay
See Jane waste away
See Jane barely make it through the day
See Dick
See Dick yell
See Dick's life turn to hell
See Dick struggle with income tax
See Dick drink to relax
See Spot
See Spot run
Run Spot, run away from it all

I got complaints about not putting up poetry

Sat, 15 Feb 2003 08:23:32 GMT

Your scent
Is a drug I am hooked on
Your smell
Can calm, soothe, or excite me
I inhale the essence of you
Part of you
Becomes part of me
If only until I exhale

For Franek

Sat, 01 Feb 2003 06:45:56 GMT

When I needed something, someone
Anything, anyone
God gave me you
I hope to repay you
For the kindness you've shown me
The life you've given me
The places you've driven me
And the food you've bought for me
You aren't the first
And you probably won't be the last
But for now we'll have a blast
Just to see that smile
Just to make you smile
Just to hear you say
That I made your day
Do you know how awesome you are?

Kentucky = blues

Fri, 31 Jan 2003 08:52:53 GMT

The stick figure flip book
Is making me cry
How could we be so happy
Yet so miserable at the same time
Natalie Merchant reminds me of you
And the tortilla soup
We had to go with our fondue
I can still recall the conversation
We had about Beloved wife
In the car while your mom drove us
Home from Seattle
All those Seattle trips
The time you couldn't make it better
After I lost my lunchbox
You always just wanted to make things better
Torturing Park
The strange Stranger
Trying to meet Joy
And the ever diminishing comics section
Giant hooded sweatshirts and the laser light shows
To which we could never go
(You are the love for certain of my life)
My platonic soul mate
I am proud to say you are the best friend I've ever had
When are you coming HOME a-g-a-i-n

Why Can't I Dream You Away

Fri, 31 Jan 2003 08:31:52 GMT

Don't do this
At first it was
Stop making me like you
I don't want people
Who don't want me
Now it is
Stop making me hate you
Give me answers
Give me comfort
Give me something
But don't walk away
Don't make me go to sleep angry
Don't make me incapable of going to sleep
And when I see you tomorrow
I hope I'll ignore you
But we know I'll hug you
And tell you I meant everything I said
And then some
Just don't do it again

Here Comes Speed Racer

Wed, 29 Jan 2003 04:44:16 GMT

Don't give me power
Or I will walk all over you
You should know this
Because I'm about to

Glass Heart

Mon, 27 Jan 2003 09:10:29 GMT

i live in a glass box
i keep running into the walls
my heart is broken and cracked glass
be careful
don't get cut by the shards
don't hold me too close
i love you
i don't want to hurt you

It Should Be

Sun, 26 Jan 2003 07:02:31 GMT

It's so irritating
That I'm so happy
And you're so not
And it's awful
That we're so close to having this
But we keep getting caught.
Stuck.Stifled.Stopped.
And we know how many more
Times this boat will rock
But each.Day.Hour.Minute.
Every.Second.
We are that much closer
So close
We feel the freedom as it flies past our faces
Barely out of reach
Teasing our fingertips

Insomnia

Sat, 25 Jan 2003 08:35:13 GMT

Sipping hot chocolate
Wishing consciousness would go away
Because tomorrow there'll be hell to pay
No wait, I mean today
My cup is empty
Going to go lay down
Hoping sleep will stop evading me
Hoping thoughts will stop tirading me
Wish me luck
Maybe I'll dream of you

Fireworks

Fri, 24 Jan 2003 22:26:53 GMT

we are not half there
to state a long story short
1,000 words
or if you'd prefer
just one picture
burned forever into our memory
just one

Bothell Landing

Fri, 24 Jan 2003 03:15:33 GMT

Sitting all alone
In an empty amphitheater
Wishing I had a computer
To connect to describe this
Cold unkind cement
No skateboarding signs metal lines and brick boxes
I'm sitting on the steps
Of an empty amphitheater
Not sure how long I've been here
Not sure when I'll leave
I'm sitting in the center
Of an empty amphitheater
Wishing I had a crowd to wow
Wishing I could connect
Although I came here to disconnect
I came here for inspiration
I came here to be alone
I came here to bribe birds with bread crumbs
And the trail I left to find my way back
Is gone